Grief Labs: Essentials (Monthly May/June/July)

Grief Labs: Essentials
A Community Practice for Love and Loss

Dates:
May 5th (Tuesday)
June 7th (Sunday)
July 23rd (Thursday)
Time: 7-9pm
Location: Birdwood House, Totnes
Price: Pay-What-You-Can

A guided, structured space to meet grief in community - rooted in Grief Tending traditions and shaped by contemporary nervous-system approaches, with choice of depth and regulation “return-paths”, so strong feeling can be held without overwhelm.

Reviews from May 5th Grief Labs:

"Bilal has a gift for making grief accessible without being overwhelming. It's a beautiful way to dip your toe into the communal vessel of grief tending."

"A great introduction for anyone new to grief tending - the space is held expertly. It feels very safe to go at your own pace, and it's amazing what is covered in two hours."

"It was truly exquisite - I really see what you are trying to do with this lab and am behind it 100%. May community come together more and more to grieve."

These May–July sessions are Grief Labs: Essentials - an accessible starting point for anyone. Essentials introduces (and lets you directly experience) the foundations of Grief Tending as a practice, alongside the basics of nervous-system-informed pacing: how we can meet strong feeling with choice, support, and reliable return paths.

From autumn, we’ll also be offering Grief Labs: Returners - for those who’ve attended Essentials (or have equivalent prior experience). Returners keeps the same principles and safety, but with less intro/framing so the group can move more quickly into sustained practice and deeper work.

Grief Labs is a 2-hour, small-group community practice for meeting grief with support. Grief isn’t limited to bereavement. It can include endings, change, world sorrow, and the things we’ve carried quietly for a long time. Most of us carry some form of grief, named or unnamed, and you don’t need to have “the right kind of grief” to belong here.

This is not group therapy and it’s not a space for “processing everything.” Instead, we practise a simple rhythm: touch what’s here, then return to support - again and again - so you can stay connected to yourself and to the room, even when feelings are strong.

Designed for choice and different depths

This practice is built so participants can work at varying levels of depth, and that variation is welcome. You might move toward strong feeling, stay at the edge, or move between the two. Choice of depth is part of the design. We’ll name options clearly, and you’ll be supported to choose your pace as you go (including slowing down, pausing, stepping out, or returning to the room).

Why grief practice (and why in a group)

Grief can show up as heaviness, numbness, anger, disconnection, or a sense of carrying too much, which we can often keep private for years. In a well-held group, you don’t have to carry it alone: Many people find that when their grief is welcome and has a place to be witnessed, it can soften isolation and open up more room for connection, energy, and aliveness.

Grief Labs offers a structured way to:

• Feel what’s true without forcing it
• Let emotion move in waves, with return paths
• Be witnessed (and witness others) without fixing or advice
• Develop more connection to self and others

Influences - Grief Labs is informed by:

• Polyvagal theory and nervous-system-informed pacing and return paths
• Peter Levine’s work, especially titration and pendulation (working in waves of contact and return)
• Grief Tending lineages and teachings from Sophy Banks, Joanna Macy, Francis Weller, and Malidoma & Sobonfu Somé

These influences shape the pacing, consent, and return paths in the practice. (These are influences and lineages we learn from; the workshop is offered as a community practice, not a clinical service.)

What to expect

• A clear arrival: grounding, orientation, and brief agreements
• Intro to Grief Tending and nervous-system foundations
• A short check-in (kept intentionally brief)
• Guided “gateways” to meet grief in different forms (not just talking)
• A structured grief-expression ritual (with clear facilitation and boundaries)
• Frequent return paths woven throughout (orienting, resourcing, settling)
• Integration and a slow closing so you can leave gently
• An aftercare / integration handout to support a gentle transition afterwards

Participation options

Throughout the workshop there will be gentle invitations to touch into grief. Each invitation is entered in full choice, with return paths close by - so you can come closer, soften, pause, or step back at any time. Choosing not to connect with your own grief in a given moment is part of the practice. Simply witnessing - being present and steady for others - is a complete and valued way to take part.

Agreements

• Everything is optional
• Confidentiality
• No fixing, advising, or coaching each other

Who it may not be for

You’re looking for therapy, clinical treatment, diagnosis, or acute crisis support. If you’re in acute crisis or need urgent support right now, a dedicated support service will be a better fit than this group workshop.

Practical details

• Duration: 2 hours
• Group size: ~20
• What to bring: water, layers, anything that helps you feel steady
• Accessibility: chairs available; you can stand/move; you can step out anytime

FAQs (optional)

Do I have to speak?
No. You can witness and be part of community support the whole time.

Is this only for bereavement?
No. Bereavement is welcome, and so are any other forms of loss: endings, change, world grief, inherited or long-held sorrow.

I often feel numb - does this still fit?
Yes. Numbness is a valid way grief can show up. There’s no pressure to feel anything specific; and we explore ways to work with our numbness.

What if I don’t do it “properly”?
There’s no right way to take part or playbook for “right-feeling”. We are re-learning the ways to connect to ourselves and each other, whilst remaining always in our choice.

What if I get overwhelmed?
The practice is designed with return paths and explicit choice points. Stepping back, slowing down, or staying at the edge is part of the practice.

About the facilitator

Bilal is a co-founder of Embracing Grief (https://www.griefsupport.org.uk/), and since 2019 they have facilitated 80+ grief-tending events and workshops with 1,500+ participants. His work explores what it means to be alive, and how we relate to loss, change, and what we carry.

Alongside open spaces, Bilal has also created and delivered workshops specifically for people of colour and for those identifying as men. In the past Bilal has run programmes on confronting death and trained as a Death Doula with Red Tent End of Life Doulas.

Outside of Embracing Grief, Bilal is the Managing Director at Mycelium (www.myceliumgroup.co), where he lead award-winning programmes in nervous system resilience, inclusive leadership, and healthy workplace culture.